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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 7, Episode 2 — The Gang Goes to the Jersey Shore

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- That's for sure. - No, no, it's different. It's different.
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The guy at the front desk said there was a meth lab explosion,
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so the hotel burned down. They had to rebuild it.
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- Something like that. - There's a smell too, like...
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Don't sweat it, you guys. Listen.
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With any luck at all, we won't be spending any time here,
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- so just think of it more like a locker. - Yes!
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I'm sorry. Is no one gonna talk about Dee's hair?
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Oh. I was waiting to pounce. I just didn't know what our cue was.
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Yeah, I was waiting for Dennis to jump on top of it.
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- And then we were gonna slay her. - Yeah.
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No, no. It's fine. All the cool girls get their hair braided at the shore.
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- I think she looks like Bo Derek. - Thank you, Dennis.
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Mmm-hmm. You see, Dee and I have some very fond memories of the shore.
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We're not going to have you sullying those great memories
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- with all your goddamn insults. - Mmm-mmm.
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Are you drinking sunscreen?
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No, no. It's a decoy. We're drinking tequila out of sunscreen bottles.
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Uh, yeah. Very strict open container laws here at the Jersey Shore.
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Cheers.
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Holy shit!
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- Is that the ocean? - Yep.
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Yeah, buddy, that's the ocean.
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What's on the other side of it there?
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- Europe. - Yeah.
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- Now, how long would it take... - Do not try and swim to Europe.
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- No. - Don't swim to Europe.
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- Do not. - As a matter of fact, why don't you stick
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with Dee and I because we can show you the ropes here
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at the Jersey Shore. All right, everybody,
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you know what time it is!
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Let's go strut the beach.
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Not struttin' shit. No beach struttin' for me.
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I'm gonna find a place to relax and unwind.
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- Frank, I'm with you. - Yeah.
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Why don't you grab us some booze? I'll go down to the beach
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and get us some prime real estate
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before those gorilla dickheads get down there.
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Yeah.
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- Gonna relax. Let's do it! - Let's get out of here.
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Oh, man, this ocean breeze feels so good on my scalp.
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Yeah, it feels awesome. The sand feels good beneath my feet.
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- Uh-huh. - I'm a little curious
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- as to where all the people are, though. - No idea. No idea.
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Didn't want to say anything. Didn't want to ruin the mood,
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but where are the people? I'm seeing a lot more dogs than people, right?
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There are a shit ton of dogs out here. I tell ya.
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- Where are their masters? - I don't think these dogs have masters.