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Home » Abbott Elementary » S01E04 — New Tech

Abbott Elementary

Season 1, Episode 4 — New Tech

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Abbott Elementary

Episode title: New Tech

Air date: January 18, 2022

Director: Randall Einhorn

Top billed cast: Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Janelle James

When a new computer program is introduced at Abbott, Janine is excited to finally help Barbara with something. Barbara is reluctant to accept change and finds herself in a tricky situation. Melissa surprises Jacob.

Source: TMDB

↓

-Okay, let's move on to "ard." -ALL: Ard.

↓

Right, which means "all right."

↓

So, the kids here use a lot of Philadelphia slang,

kids philadelphia

↓

or as we call it, "Philly slang."

philly

↓

So I like to incorporate it as sight words,

words

↓

which are words that kids recognize

kids words

↓

without sounding them out.

↓

For instance, "boul" means "boy,"

boul

↓

so I'd say like,

↓

"Ooh, I have a crush on boul." (laughs)

boul laughs

↓

Or, Boul Meets World is my favorite show.

boul favorite world

↓

-JANINE: "Cheesesteak." -CHILDREN: Cheesesteak.

children janine

↓

And let's go to "boul."

boul

↓

Boul.

boul

↓

Right. Sometimes it's spelled B-U-L, which is interesting.

interesting sometimes spelled

↓

What is going on in this classroom?

classroom

↓

Hey, Mrs. Howard.

howard

↓

I'm just teaching the kids some sight words.

kids teaching words

↓

(chuckles)

chuckles

↓

It's a helpful teaching tool, because these kids use these --

helpful kids teaching

↓

-CHILDREN: Jawns. -...jawns all the time.

children

↓

-You're abandoning the phonics principle

↓

that these children need.

children

↓

This is a classroom, not a hoagie stand.

classroom hoagie stand

↓

Oh, boom. Hoagie.

hoagie

↓

Hoagie.

hoagie

↓

We had it on the board, so...

board

↓

Hm.

↓

Okay, kids.

kids

↓

Let us move on to "oldhead," one word.

oldhead word

↓

CHILDREN: Oldhead.

children oldhead

↓

Young bouls are so disrespectful.

young

↓

Mm.

↓

(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)

holdem holdem-playing makers makers-holdem makers-holdem-playing playing

↓

♪♪

↓

MELISSA: They said that -- Oh, they do. Look.

melissa

↓

Excuse me. Excuse me.

excuse

↓

What it do, Abbott teaching crew?

abbott crew teaching

↓

Damn, the last time I was up this early

early

↓

was to cuss out the mailman.

↓

I don't need all them bills coming.

coming

↓

Uh, I thought breakfast was being provided.

breakfast provided

↓

Don't act like you don't see these little boxes of cereal

↓

right here.

↓

So, listen up.

↓

Your favorite HBIC, AKA me,

favorite

↓

has acquired some new learning technology

learning

↓

that will help our little ones with their reading.

ones reading

↓

Well, the school district mandated it.

district school school-district

↓

-It's a city-wide push. -(cereal rattling)

city push

↓

What are you doing here?

↓

This isn't for 6th through 8th grade teachers.

grade teachers

↓

I'm just here for the camaraderie,

↓

and this tasty breakfast.

breakfast

↓

You guys, I have been reading up on this,

reading

↓

and our students are gonna get a huge boost

huge students

↓

from this software.

↓

I mean, our kids are gonna be reading

kids reading

↓

at the speed of light.

light speed

↓

Well, I, for one, prefer the tried and true methods

prefer tried

↓

over whatever the latest doohickey is.

latest

↓

I mean, I have yet to see the program

program

↓

that can do what I do by, you know, teaching.

teaching

↓

Well, old-school teaching is great,

school teaching

↓

but the latest doohickey can be a helpful addition.

helpful latest

↓

Yeah, tech has its place.

place tech

↓

Like when you haven't been with a man for a few years.

years

↓

Um, are subs gonna have to do this?

↓

I thought I'd mainly be showing Pixar movies.

movies

↓

You guys, all I'm saying is, we should keep an open mind.

mind open

↓

There was a great website called AtoZOneTwoThree

called

↓

that taught me how to read when I was a kid.

read taught

↓

My parents certainly weren't around to do it.

certainly parents

↓

(laughs) I had to potty-train myself.

laughs train

↓

Overshare.

↓

Well, I do not need some young Zuckerburn --

young

↓

Zuckerberg.

↓

Pimple-faced kid fresh from the Smart Bar --

smart

↓

-Genius Bar. -...telling me how to teach!

genius teach telling

↓

Good morning.

morning

↓

You're the tech teacher?

teacher tech

↓

Sure am.

↓

Can't keep us old folks down, right?

↓

All right, what I'm providing you with today

today

↓

will revolutionize your classrooms.

↓

It not only helps in teaching students how to read,

read students teaching

↓

it delivers up-to-the-minute data on their progress

data minute progress

↓

that will be analyzed at the end of each day.

↓

And the better the results, the more funding we get,

↓

-so this is good, y'all. -Mm-hmm.

yall

↓

Each of you will get one of these.

↓

New tablets! (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

(whispering) Yeah!

whispering

↓

Okay, who do you got to bang to get into the analytics annex?

↓

It's really very easy.

easy

↓

Just use the highlight tool

↓

to pinpoint the pronunciation mistakes,

↓

create a word cloud, output a ranks list,

create list word

↓

see the percentage of your students that missed that word,

missed students word

↓

and that'll determine whether it becomes a "TAI,"

↓

or "Targeted Area for Improvement."

area

↓

-Easy-peasy, keep it breezy! -Oh.

easy

↓

(tablet beeping)

beeping tablet

↓

Hey. How's it going, Barb?

barb

↓

-Oh. Easy-peasy. -Mm-hmm.

easy

↓

(beeping)

beeping

↓

Yeah, sure.

↓

I am so excited that Barbara is so confused,

barbara excited

↓

because it means I get to help her with something.

↓

I need her help every day,

↓

so if I can return the favor just once,

↓

it means I'm no longer a newbie --

longer

↓

I'm her peer. (laughs)

laughs

↓

Gregory. Broseph. Brotato.

gregory

↓

Yeah, I'm still, uh -- still finding that.

↓

What's up, man? I'm just looking for some creamer.

creamer looking

↓

Listen, you're the new guy here.

↓

I've been here a month.

month

↓

I am the second-year vet. I figured I would, you know,

figured second

↓

show you a few things around here.

↓

No, I'm just, uh, looking for --

looking

↓

So, we've got Ms. Cooper over there.

↓

I've been here a year and a half.

half

↓

She's been pregnant the whole time.

pregnant whole

↓

I don't ask questions.

questions

↓

I'll even take powdered creamer.

creamer

↓

That's Mrs. Robertson.

↓

Watch out, she will talk your ear off.

watch

↓

And, uh, oh, you know Melissa, of course.

course melissa

↓

She's, uh -- you know, the Southern Philly type.

philly

↓

'Scuse me?

↓

You talking about me?

↓

Yeah, uh -- I was --

↓

I was saying you are a, uh --

↓

a -- a Southern Philly Type.

philly

↓

-South Philly. -Right. Right.

philly south south-philly

↓

That's what I said. Right.

↓

Honestly, it's like -- it's like the best part

best part

↓

of our beautiful city.

city

↓

I love how you guys will just, like, park anywhere.

love park

↓

Yeah, okay.

↓

You know, I'm actually teaching a lesson right now

lesson teaching

↓

about the unions in the city

city

↓

and how many of them started in South Philly.

philly south south-philly started

↓

Oh, no way.

↓

I know some guys that were part of that.

part

↓

I'm glad you're teaching that to the kids.

glad kids teaching

↓

Good job.

↓

(door closes)

closes door door-closes

↓

Just like I said...

↓

she is a shady lady. Mm.

lady

↓

That's why you and me, we got to stick together, man.

stick

↓

You know? Like coffee and creamer.

coffee creamer

↓

All right, in.

↓

(tablet chimes)

chimes tablet

↓

Ugh. Teach the children to read with this?

children read teach

↓

I can hardly read this.

read

↓

(camera shutter clicks)

clicks

↓

Now, who took that picture of me?

picture

↓

(sing-song) Barbara.

barbara song

↓

Oh, sorry.

↓

Hey, how's it going with the new program?

program

↓

Oh, it's, uh, a little hard to understand,

hard

↓

but I'm getting the hang of it.

hang

↓

Okay, yeah.

↓

Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you.

case check tricky wanted

↓

You know, I grew up with this stuff

stuff

↓

-and it gets me sometimes. -Okay.

sometimes

↓

I somehow lost my crypto wallet. (chuckles)

chuckles lost

↓

But you come from a different generation,

generation

↓

and so it would be totally understandable

↓

if you were having trouble with it.

having trouble

↓

Are you kidding me?

kidding

↓

I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech.

love miss tech

↓

Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail.

shop store

↓

I once even rode in a Tesla.

↓

I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons.

ahead couple

↓

-Wow. -Yeah.

↓

Well, that's great. Can I see?

↓

-No. -Oh.

↓

Janine, you're disturbing my students.

janine students

↓

I'm -- I'm whispering.

whispering

↓

It's just your...

↓

overall presence,

↓

so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself?

mind

↓

I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences.

behind

↓

Okay.

↓

Barbara says she's doing well, but this program is really hard.

barbara hard program

↓

She just has a ton of pride,

pride

↓

so I'm gonna wait for her to come and ask me for help.

↓

Oh, I can't wait.

↓

And that is how union and non-union workers

workers

↓

came together and worked as one

worked

↓

to help solve the labor crisis in South Philly, okay?

crisis philly south south-philly

↓

All right, we are going to have to

↓

grab a noun from the Noun Pool --

↓

I don't get this.

↓

Sweetheart, neither do I.

sweetheart

↓

BARBARA: Okay, so here's what I'm going to do.

barbara

↓

I'm going to continue teaching my students how to read

continue read students teaching

↓

like I have been for 30 years.

years

↓

I'll input whatever information I need to into that program,

information program

↓

and then I'll just keep doing what I have been doing,

↓

and everybody else will just have to back off.

everybody

↓

Hey, Hill.

hill

↓

That lesson, that was garbage.

lesson

↓

-That's not what happened. -Okay, well,

happened

↓

I've read several books on the subject.

books read

↓

I think I know the history of the lesson.

history lesson

↓

Well, me and my family lived it, so I think we know the history.

family history

↓

I've also listened to several podcasts.

↓

Look, how about this?

↓

I know a guy who was actually a captain back in the day.

captain

↓

How about I hook you up, he can come to the class

class

↓

and do like an eyewitness account for the kids?

account eyewitness kids

↓

Unexpected, but I am so happy

happy

↓

Melissa's bringing in a police captain.

bringing captain melissa melissas

↓

He's gonna be able to talk to the kids

able kids

↓

about how this is done peacefully.

↓

I'm just really happy Vinny, the strike captain,

captain happy vinny

↓

is out of jail so he can do this.

↓

It's also gonna count towards his community service.

community count service

↓

Just 100 more hours, and his record's cleared.

hours

↓

-(school bell rings) -BARBARA: Good morning.

barbara bell bell-rings morning rings school school-bell school-bell-rings

↓

Come on down.

↓

You ready for a good day?

ready

↓

That's what I'm talking about.

↓

AVA: Morning, Abbott Elementarians!

abbott morning

↓

It turns out one of our teachers is just too good!

teachers

↓

According to our new reading program,

according program reading reading-program

↓

Mrs. Howard's kindergartners are reading

howard kindergartners reading

↓

-at a 4th grade level! -No.

grade grade-level level

↓

Mrs. Howard, you are, once again, that girl.

girl howard

↓

Barbara?

barbara

↓

No. No. No. Okay. Thank you.

↓

No. Okay, that's enough.

↓

When I say "Mrs.," you say "Howard."

howard

↓

-Mrs... -ALL: Howard!

howard

↓

-Mrs... -Howard!

howard

↓

-Mrs... -Howard!

howard

↓

-Mrs... -Howard!

howard

↓

(tablet chimes)

chimes tablet

↓

Hey, Barbara.

barbara

↓

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry.

wanted

↓

You clearly knew what you were doing,

↓

and I arrogantly assumed -- or hoped, rather --

↓

that you would need my help, but once again, I need yours.

↓

You are officially Yoda with better edges.

↓

Okay, which one of you Young Sheldons

young

↓

is gonna get me to Mars

↓

witcha little smart reading selves?

reading smart

↓

There's actually no need for all of this.

↓

I'm just doing my job.

↓

But don't forget, it was your girl

forget girl

↓

that brought in that dope program.

brought dope program

↓

Oh, my God. Look at me, not even taking credit

↓

for something I had so much to do with. (laughs)

laughs

↓

Barbara, you know what? Since so many of us need help,

barbara

↓

what if you put on, like, a little presentation

↓

for the rest of us?

rest

↓

You're thinking too small, Janine.

janine thinking

↓

We should have an assembly and have

assembly

↓

one of Barbara's students read to the whole school.

barbara barbaras read school students whole whole-school

↓

Show these little illiterate fools how to literate.

↓

Yes! Not the second part. Yes!

part second yes

↓

Okay.

↓

We can have Khalil read.

read

↓

AVA: No, not Khalil.

↓

Everybody knows that little dork can read.

everybody knows read

↓

-I was thinking him. -BOY: Whoo-hoo!

thinking whoo

↓

(speaking indistinctly)

indistinctly speaking

↓

AVA: 5 years old, reading at a 4th grade level?

grade grade-level level reading years

↓

You performed a damn miracle on that boy.

miracle

↓

That was a pretty tough time for me --

tough

↓

Hey. He's here. He's on his way in.

↓

Oh. Oh. That's fantastic, Melissa.

melissa

↓

Okay, let me, um, set him up for the --

↓

-Uh, students. -(door closes)

closes door door-closes students

↓

We are about to hear from a heroic, upstanding

↓

citizen of this city, okay, who helped to peacefully end

city

↓

-one of -- -(door opens)

door door-opens opens

↓

-Kids, meet Vinny Romano. -(door closes)

closes door door-closes kids meet vinny

↓

Call me The Tire Iron.

iron

↓

Uh, hello, Mr. Iron.

iron

↓

Um, is there anything else we could call you?

↓

Nope.

nope

↓

Okay, come on now. Here we go.

↓

I don't think Will is ready to read just yet,

read ready

↓

but I have read from this book so many times,

book read times

↓

he practically has it memorized.

↓

I'm sure he'll have no problem.

problem

↓

-(slowly) "Jack...and...Jill..." -Yes.

jack jill yes

↓

-"...went up the..." -The.

↓

Okay, Will, it's your name with an "H."

name

↓

Hilliam!

↓

No.

↓

Barbara, can I borrow some gold stars?

barbara stars

↓

I gave all mine out this morning.

morning

↓

My kids are amazing. Uh, I'll even take red.

amazing kids

↓

Oh, sure.

↓

Thank you.

↓

Oh, well, if it isn't Abbott's brightest little reader.

abbott

↓

Are you excited to show the school your skills?

excited school skills

↓

Yeah?

↓

-Here you go. -Hmm.

↓

-Is he okay? -Oh, he's fine. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

This child has just gained entry

child

↓

into the magical world of books,

books world

↓

so please, Janine, allow him time to celebrate.

janine

↓

Okay. Yeah.

↓

Good morning, kids.

kids morning

↓

Good morning to you all, as well.

morning

↓

Subbing here has been...

subbing

↓

fine.

↓

(stammers)

↓

I haven't even gotten past teaching the kids my name,

gotten kids name past teaching

↓

let alone that confusing reading program.

alone program reading reading-program

↓

I'm hoping once they learn those things,

hoping learn

↓

then we can just start watching movies.

movies start watching

↓

-Hey, Gregory. -Hey.

gregory

↓

Hi.

↓

Um, how are you settling in?

↓

-It's going well. -Yeah?

↓

I'm figuring out where everything is,

↓

-who everyone is. -Yeah. Well, I'm Janine.

janine

↓

-That I know. -(chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Hmm...

↓

Uh, my gosh. How are you doing

gosh

↓

with this new reading program?

program reading reading-program

↓

Oh. (scoffs) I'm not gonna lie.

scoffs

↓

It's got me even more confused

↓

than I already was teaching here.

teaching

↓

I cannot get past a single lesson without an error message.

cannot lesson past single

↓

-It's really annoying. -Why don't we get together

annoying

↓

-after school... -Mm-hmm.

school

↓

...and we can figure it out?

figure

↓

Um, I would love that.

love

↓

You kidding me? (chuckles)

chuckles kidding

↓

Oh, my God, but, shoot. My boyfriend

boyfriend shoot

↓

is picking me up after school today.

school today

↓

-Oh. -You know what?

↓

You can come hang with us.

hang

↓

I mean, we're just going to IKEA.

↓

You can help us pick out a bed.

pick

↓

Oh, okay. Yeah, um...

↓

Oh, God. Um...

↓

I actually have somebody picking me up after school.

school somebody

↓

-Oh. -She's a girl...

girl

↓

-Oh. -She's a woman, I mean.

woman

↓

Like, it's a car full of women and...

full

↓

What?

↓

Nothing.

↓

Oh. Okay, well, see you later. I'll see you around school.

school

↓

Yeah, yeah. All right, you, too.

↓

Hey, enjoy the bed.

enjoy

↓

-Oh, we will. -Ha!

↓

Uh, I was just kidding. But see you later!

kidding

↓

-Uh-huh. -Bye.

↓

So hundreds of us come piling off this bus, right?

hundreds

↓

And the punk firefighters,

↓

they didn't even show their pretty little faces, you know?

faces

↓

And the pigs, they were mad 'cause we were throwing rocks.

↓

It's like, hey, just relax.

↓

They're just freakin' rocks, you know?

↓

(laughs)

laughs

↓

So, anyway, we tell that, uh, lousy, stinkin'...

↓

MELISSA: He's great, right?

melissa

↓

(whispering) Why did you bring him here?

bring whispering

↓

-Uh, didn't we agree to this? -I thought you were bringing

agree bringing

↓

-a police captain. -(scoffs)

captain scoffs

↓

Someone to talk about how the union worked together in peace?

peace worked

↓

That's not the real story. This is the truth.

real story truth

↓

He's giving them an eyewitness account to history.

account eyewitness giving history

↓

Eyewitness? I think the term is "accomplice."

eyewitness term

↓

This is the problem I have with people like you.

problem

↓

You want to romanticize this city,

city

↓

but you won't acknowledge the truth.

truth

↓

Like, you want to run up the Rocky steps,

steps

↓

but you can't take a punch in the face.

face

↓

I can take a punch in the face.

face

↓

What -- What -- What are you saying?

↓

I'm some kind of, like, hipster poseur?

↓

Look, I care, okay? I am here, teaching, every day.

care teaching

↓

No, I'm saying you can't teach the kids right

kids teach

↓

if you don't respect where they're from.

respect

↓

It's about respect.

respect

↓

(footsteps)

↓

Me and the rest of the class are going on strike

class rest

↓

until there are no more pop quizzes.

↓

(indistinct conversations)

conversations indistinct indistinct-conversations

↓

Lights. (chuckles)

chuckles lights

↓

(indistinct conversations)

conversations indistinct indistinct-conversations

↓

We are here to celebrate Barbara's genius kindergartners.

barbara barbaras genius kindergartners

↓

This is a tremendous opportunity for this school.

school

↓

Before we begin, I would like to detail all the ways

begin ways

↓

that I personally made this happen.

happen

↓

It all started when I was watching Coach Carter

coach started watching

↓

-for the 17th time. Now... -WILL: Jack fell down

jack

↓

and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.

broke crown jill

↓

Perfect!

perfect

↓

Now, when we get up on stage,

↓

you're gonna do it just like that, okay?

↓

No. And no dancing.

↓

But that's what I do, Ms. Howard!

howard

↓

Hey, Mrs. Howard.

howard

↓

Hey, after the assembly,

assembly

↓

do you think you can come help me with the program?

program

↓

My kids are struggling,

kids struggling

↓

and I know I ask you for help all the time,

↓

but what can I say?

↓

You're the best. (chuckles)

best chuckles

↓

-Janine -- -Sometimes I wonder

janine sometimes wonder

↓

if I put you on too high a pedestal,

↓

but then I think it's not high enough.

↓

I say, "Janine, she's just a person like you --"

janine person

↓

-AVA: Anyway... -You know what?

↓

I'm sorry, I'm rambling. You make --

↓

(voice breaking) I'm sorry.

breaking voice voice-breaking

↓

You make me want to be a better teacher.

teacher

↓

Okay. (chuckles lightly)

chuckles

↓

I'm starting to forget the words.

forget starting words

↓

Oh, gotta go!

↓

Like, look at this guy get a whole movie about him.

movie whole

↓

I've done more for this school in one year

school

↓

than he did for the whole movie, so I --

movie whole

↓

Okay, thank you. Oh, I guess it's time to go.

↓

That kid's a reading fool.

fool kids reading

↓

BARBARA: Good afternoon, Abbott.

abbott barbara

↓

My student, William, will be reading Jack and Jill.

jack jill reading student

↓

Oh! (laughs) Change of plans.

change laughs

↓

My copy of Michelle Obama's book just came in,

book copy

↓

and since Will reads at a 4th grade level,

grade grade-level level

↓

-that shouldn't be a problem. -Oh, no. I really think

problem

↓

that Will would prefer to read --

prefer read

↓

Don't nobody want to hear about pails and water and whatnot.

nobody water

↓

We want to hear what "Michelle O" got to say.

↓

I hope there's a section in there

hope

↓

about her meet cute with my man, Barry Hussein.

cute meet

↓

MAN: All right.

↓

(crowd clearing throats)

↓

(horns honking in distance)

distance

↓

(gulps) Okay. Here goes.

↓

Okay, that's enough. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Everybody, um, my student, Will,

everybody student

↓

is a wonderful student and dancer,

student

↓

but he cannot read this book just yet.

book cannot read

↓

The truth is, I was actually able to log into the program,

able program truth

↓

but, um, I was just pushing buttons.

↓

I did not mean to say

↓

that they could read at a 4th grade level.

grade grade-level level read

↓

I know how to teach these kids how to read.

kids read teach

↓

I just can't use that program.

program

↓

So I lied.

lied

↓

I can't believe Barbara lied to me.

barbara believe lied

↓

Normally, I encourage cheating, but, girl,

cheating girl normally

↓

you gots to let me know. (laughs)

laughs

↓

Barbara. Who would have thought?

barbara

↓

Hey, Barbara. Another great Abbott Elementary assembly.

abbott abbott-elementary another assembly barbara elementary

↓

Um...

↓

Why wouldn't you let me help you?

↓

I was handling it the best way I could.

best

↓

By lying instead of letting me help you?

lying

↓

That is not what this is about.

↓

Then what is it about? Because I don't get it.

↓

(sighs)

sighs

↓

I am good at this job, and I know how to do it well,

↓

but admitting that I couldn't figure this program out,

figure program

↓

it was like I was saying, "I am getting too old."

↓

And you don't know what that feels like --

feels

↓

all these new people and this new tech.

tech

↓

(sighs) It just made me feel like

sighs

↓

I was being pushed out to sea.

pushed

↓

Okay, well, if you're being pushed out,

pushed

↓

then I'm being pushed out, too, because it's hard for me.

hard pushed

↓

It's hard for all of us, even the kids,

hard kids

↓

and they come out of the womb selling NFTs.

↓

See? I don't even know what that is.

↓

So I guess I'm just an oldface.

↓

-Oldhead. -And that, too.

oldhead

↓

I don't know what NFT means, either.

↓

Hm.

↓

(breathes deeply)

deeply

↓

What if we figured out this stuff together?

figured stuff

↓

I'd like that.

↓

Okay.

↓

Are we having a moment right now?

having moment

↓

Are those jelly beans on your belt?

↓

I wanted to teach Barbara something so bad

bad barbara teach wanted

↓

that I never considered what she might be going through.

might

↓

But we did have a little bonding moment back there.

bonding moment

↓

I ruined it, but it happened.

happened ruined

↓

You got that, right?

↓

(knock on door)

door knock

↓

Hey.

↓

I brought you some lasagna as a peace offering.

brought peace

↓

You know, I don't just eat Italian,

↓

or am I a stereotype to you?

↓

Oh, my God, no. Of course not. I'll -- I'll throw it out.

course throw

↓

Hey, hey. What am I, an idiot? Give it to me.

idiot

↓

-Oh! -Um.

↓

Melissa, I...

melissa

↓

I made some dumb assumptions about you, about South Philly.

philly south south-philly

↓

I was condescending. Basically, I was a jerk.

↓

I wish my ex-husband could ever admit that much.

wish

↓

Well, I'm really sorry.

↓

Listen, you're trying to sanitize this place

place

↓

and its history -- it doesn't need it.

history

↓

This is who we are, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

bad ugly

↓

Tire Iron, of course, representing the ugly.

course iron ugly

↓

Well, I wouldn't say that... to his face.

face

↓

Hey, I know you mean well, hon.

↓

You want the best for your kids.

best kids

↓

Just next time, have a more open mind, that's all.

mind open

↓

I will. And -- And thank you.

↓

My students got a lot out of what Vinny had to say.

students vinny

↓

-Oh, good. -They collectively bargained,

↓

and they all have pensions now.

↓

(chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Solid. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

(indistinct conversations)

conversations indistinct indistinct-conversations

↓

-But... -There you go!

↓

-(laughs) Yes! -Yes!

laughs yes

↓

It can be daunting when a new technology is introduced

↓

and it's changing the way you do things,

↓

but this is the future.

future

↓

-I got in. -I've mastered it.

↓

Girrrrllls...

↓

and Young Idris.

young

↓

Turns out the software we've been using

using

↓

was invented by the Pennsylvania Penal System

system

↓

to collect data for prisons.

data

↓

Prisons?

↓

Something about the correlation

↓

between lower reading levels

reading

↓

and the amount of prison beds they're supposed to build?

build supposed

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

Apparently, it's illegal. (scoffs)

scoffs

↓

I am just as disgusted as you all are.

↓

Disgraceful.

↓

You're gonna sell those, aren't you?

↓

And what would you rather I do, Melissa?

melissa

↓

(scoffs)

scoffs

↓

That's a shame. I really liked that feature

liked

↓

where I could teach a whole class on just one letter.

class teach whole whole-class

↓

You know what?

↓

I think I might know something we can use instead.

might

↓

-It's pretty simple. And then... -Very.

simple

↓

...the fun thing about this is...

↓

"At 54, I'm still in progress,

progress

↓

and I hope I always will be."

hope

↓

-Did he just -- -Oh, my God.

↓

-You -- You just read! -You just read!

read

↓

BOTH: He just read!

read

↓

-You're a baby genius! -Yes!

baby genius yes

↓

-Wow. -Ooh, yes!

yes

↓

Oh, my goodness!

goodness

↓

(laughs)

laughs

↓

Yes, yes!

yes

↓

"Failure is a feeling

feeling

↓

long before it becomes an actual result."

↓

Mm. I know that's right.

↓

Can I have a break?

break

↓

No, keep reading. It's just getting good.

reading

↓

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

↓

Absolutely not. Let's go.

absolutely

↓

-Come on, Barbara! -Come on.

barbara

↓

You owe me an Audible membership!

↓

-- Captioned by VITAC --

captioned vitac