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Home » Abbott Elementary » S01E12 — Ava vs. Superintendent

Abbott Elementary

Season 1, Episode 12 — Ava vs. Superintendent

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Abbott Elementary

Episode title: Ava vs. Superintendent

Air date: April 05, 2022

Director: Matthew A. Cherry

Top billed cast: Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Janelle James

With the school board threatening to pull their funds, Janine and Gregory decide to help Ava out with her presentation in front of the Superintendent. However, their plan is derailed when a curveball is thrown at Ava. Meanwhile, Barbara offends Melissa when she doesn’t agree with her blackmail idea.

Source: TMDB

↓

("Amazing Grace" plays)

amazing plays

↓

♪♪

↓

Ms. Teagues, are you chewing gum?

teagues

↓

Yeah.

↓

Where does gum go when you enter this classroom?

classroom

↓

CHILDREN: Wanda the Waste Basket!

children

↓

Okay. All right, come on,

↓

my future little Odd Futures.

future

↓

Time to go back to our classroom.

classroom

↓

♪♪

↓

Uh, come on, guys.

↓

You'll see Ms. Davis next week.

week

↓

(sighs) Hey, guys.

sighs

↓

I know music class is fun,

class music

↓

but that's why we have to let someone else have a turn.

↓

♪♪

↓

All right, guys, you know what?

↓

Don't make me collect the recorders,

↓

'cause if I collect them,

↓

who knows when you're gonna see them again.

knows

↓

(music stops)

music

↓

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪

↓

♪ I once was lost... ♪

lost

↓

(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)

holdem makers playing

↓

♪♪

↓

♪♪

↓

JANINE (sighs): So sorry I'm late.

janine late sighs

↓

Oh, glad you guys started without me.

glad started

↓

We weren't waiting.

waiting

↓

This isn't a restaurant.

↓

Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay?

late

↓

Yeah, everything's fine.

↓

The kids just love Ms. Davis' class,

class kids love

↓

so it takes a while to get them back,

takes

↓

and then everything runs a little late.

late

↓

You know, normally, I'd be bothered by my kids

kids normally

↓

being obsessed with another teacher, but I get it.

another teacher

↓

-My class? Also Davis devotees. -Mm.

class

↓

Only way she could be cooler is if she were related to Angela.

↓

Not that I think all black people are related.

black

↓

Well, maybe you do.

↓

Maybe that was your subconscious speaking.

speaking

↓

What would Angela Davis think?

↓

Well, my suggestion to all of you

↓

is to enjoy your free periods while you can.

enjoy free

↓

Because music class will be going bye-bye-bye

class music

↓

like Blackstreet Boyz II Men.

↓

Mm, mnh, no. Wrong in like three ways.

three ways

↓

Whoa. What's happening to music class?

class music whoa

↓

Well, the school pays for the music class

class music school

↓

out of discretionary funds.

↓

And since Ava lost her dirt on Superintendent Collins

dirt lost superintendent

↓

when he married the goomah,

↓

there's no way he's gonna fork over the cash

↓

like he has for the last three years.

three years

↓

No more of the glitz and glam you lot have become used to.

become used

↓

It's gonna go right back to the lean years.

years

↓

-(handle cracks) -Mm-hmm.

handle

↓

Then what are these?

↓

There has to be a way to convince Superintendent Collins

superintendent

↓

that we still need that discretionary money.

money

↓

Well, all the principals have to present their cases for funding

present

↓

to the school board at the end of the week.

board school week

↓

How do you always know this stuff?

stuff

↓

I told you all this many times --

times

↓

I trained to be a principal.

principal

↓

-Mm, it's not ringing a bell. -Mm.

bell

↓

I interned at the Baltimore School Board for two summers.

baltimore board school

↓

I got my Master's in Educational Leadership,

↓

and I went through a program specifically meant

program

↓

to encourage young black men to become principals.

become black young

↓

So do I think that Ava can learn

learn

↓

everything that she needs to know by Friday?

friday needs

↓

No.

↓

Out of curiosity, what was her presentation like last year?

↓

She played a chopped and screwed version of Tom Cruise saying,

↓

"Show me the money," on repeat.

money repeat

↓

And no one asked any questions when that worked?

asked questions worked

↓

I'm sure she is preparing,

preparing

↓

given the circumstances have changed.

↓

"They keep telling me I've aged out of The Bachelor,

telling

↓

so that's why I need to borrow your birth certificate, Ava,

birth

↓

-exclamation mark." -(cellphone beeps)

beeps cellphone

↓

Even in a world where Ava could put together

world

↓

-a competent presentation... -Mm-hmm.

↓

...it still does not change the fact

change fact

↓

that the Superintendent can't stand her

stand superintendent

↓

and, by extension, us.

↓

The nerve on that guy.

↓

Yeah, well, maybe this will be the year

↓

where the school board finally awards me

board finally school

↓

that Advancement Grant that I have been applying to

↓

for 10 years.

years

↓

They will if we make them.

↓

Just, like, a little... gentle arm-twisting.

↓

A little arm twist never hurt.

hurt

↓

(gasps) This is so exciting. Oh, my God.

exciting gasps

↓

I'm gonna go to the mall right after school

school

↓

and get a new shakedown sweater.

sweater

↓

(footsteps approaching)

↓

Do I even wanna know?

↓

I don't know. Do you?

↓

You know you have a presentation

↓

to the school board coming up, right?

board coming school

↓

Yeah, I do it annually.

↓

Right, but you're ready for the one this year?

ready

↓

This girl doesn't know what "annually" means.

girl

↓

No, I know what it means.

↓

It's just that this time is a little different.

↓

Yeah, my job is on the line.

line

↓

More importantly, discretionary funds for the entire school.

entire school

↓

Yeah, but those two things kinda go hand in hand

hand kinda

↓

-if you really think about it. -Great.

↓

So you're taking it seriously, then.

↓

As a heart attack.

heart

↓

I haven't watched Love After Lockup in like a month.

love month

↓

Free Puppy.

free

↓

Can I see the presentation?

↓

You don't have a lawyer, do you?

↓

No. Oh, not unless you count that guy

count

↓

that represented me in that hit-and-run.

↓

I was clipped by a delirious jogger.

↓

Then I'll show you the presentation tomorrow.

tomorrow

↓

There's a lot of proprietary technology involved.

↓

Sign this NDA

sign

↓

and bring it back in the morning.

bring morning

↓

Don't look at them. They've already signed.

↓

Oh. Okay.

↓

I found a connection at the school board.

board found school

↓

Ooh, you got a guy there?

↓

No, you do.

↓

Delisha Sloss. She goes to your church.

↓

My guy says she's on the finance committee or something.

↓

I know her.

↓

-One of our shadier members. -Mm-hmm.

↓

But God's light finds even the shadows.

light

↓

Yeah, she's up to something.

↓

Being able to spot ops runs in the family.

able family spot

↓

That's how we Schemmentis got so successful in...business.

business successful

↓

I don't think so.

↓

Oh, come on! It's an easy squeeze.

easy

↓

She's been skimming cash off the top for years.

years

↓

It's not that I can't handle it.

handle

↓

It's just that...

↓

I'm not used to playing in the mud.

playing used

↓

I leave that to people like you.

↓

(pen scratching paper)

paper

↓

People like me, huh?

↓

Your signed NDA.

↓

-That's a cute shirt. -Oh, thank you.

cute

↓

I got it from Old Navy.

↓

It would look much better on me.

↓

You know what? Give it to me.

↓

No. What?

↓

Look, can we just start already?

start

↓

I wanna finish this before the kids get here at 7:30 --

finish kids

↓

6:00 -- 7:30.

↓

This presentation is about to blow your mind.

blow mind

↓

Let's get started. Ava 2, Ava 3.

started

↓

(motors whirring)

↓

Oh! What?!

↓

(motors whirring)

↓

What the hell?

↓

-Success. -Greatness.

↓

Passion.

↓

And what do all those words have in common?

words

↓

-Ava Coleman. -Ava Coleman.

coleman

↓

So, in conclusion, a school with such an amazing leader

amazing leader school

↓

is an obvious choice for discretionary funds.

↓

And what school is that?

school

↓

A.

↓

-B. -B.

↓

-Okay. -O.

↓

-That's enough. -T.

↓

L. Janine, you're throwing off my timing.

janine

↓

-E. -Enough.

↓

M -- M -- M -- M -- M -- M --

↓

-What? -You couldn't let me finish?

finish

↓

-No -- -(thud)

↓

Ow!

↓

So, what do you think?

↓

I think...

↓

I don't think this is what the school board is looking for.

board looking school

↓

(sighs) Damn it!

sighs

↓

I knew it.

↓

(sighs) I thought I could just hit 'em

sighs

↓

with the ol' razzle-dazzle.

↓

These are the parts about being a principal that I'm not good at.

parts principal

↓

Interesting. What parts would you say you are good at?

interesting parts

↓

This isn't the time for jokes, Janine.

janine

↓

This is the first time in my life that I won't be able to

able life

↓

charisma my way out of the situation.

situation

↓

This is the first job that I've liked in my life.

life liked

↓

I don't wanna lose it.

lose

↓

Okay. Well, what if we find a way to combine your charisma

↓

with what the school board is actually looking for?

board looking school

↓

That's the point -- I don't know.

point

↓

I'm not some nerd,

↓

got somebody showing me the ropes and giving me advice

giving somebody

↓

and putting up with my near-constant hijinks.

putting

↓

Okay. You're right. (sighs)

sighs

↓

We need to find someone who knows

knows

↓

what presentations like this should look like.

↓

I know how you feel about Ava

↓

and the whole principal situation,

principal situation whole

↓

but this is for the kids.

kids

↓

It feels like it's for Ava.

feels

↓

Yeah. But it'd be for all of us, too.

↓

I mean, say they fire Ava. Then what?

fire

↓

They bring in some micromanaging control freak

bring control

↓

who won't let us do our jobs?

jobs

↓

Yeah, we wouldn't want that.

↓

Look, I know she may not be our best option,

best

↓

but she certainly isn't the worst.

certainly

↓

Fine. But if she refers to me as a food item, I'm out.

food

↓

Great. Meet me in the library at lunch.

library lunch meet

↓

-(P.A. beeps) -AVA: Did he say yes?

beeps yes

↓

'Cause otherwise, I found a livestream

found

↓

of some other school board's presentation that might help.

might school

↓

Never mind. It's an SNL skit.

mind

↓

Since I've been here, Ava's biggest improvements

avas

↓

to the school include renaming the Wi-Fi network

school

↓

Bad Bitches Only

bad

↓

and using field-trip money to put 26-inch rims

field money using

↓

on one of the buses.

↓

Is it how I'd do the job? No.

↓

But the school does deserve to have this money.

deserve money school

↓

Very good.

↓

Oh, I like that.

↓

MELISSA: Repo's here.

melissa

↓

BARBARA: Hey, Melissa.

barbara melissa

↓

You need something?

↓

MELISSA: Yeah, I'm just here to repo this rug

melissa

↓

since you got it from a mud person.

person

↓

Wait.

↓

Is this because I won't extort a church member?

↓

You are overreacting.

↓

No, I'm just trying to protect you.

↓

I wouldn't want you involved in any of my immoral activities.

↓

You need some help?

↓

Nah, I got it.

↓

Okay. So, she should start by showing them

start

↓

our student retention rates.

student

↓

They've been steady since the appeal

↓

for a student recount was filed.

student

↓

Yes, Ava counted twins as one student

student yes

↓

because she said they share the same soul.

↓

That's true. And this is so boring!

↓

And I don't like this shift

↓

in the power dynamic where you're in charge.

charge power

↓

You've never been less attractive.

less

↓

Look, we have to build a case

build case

↓

to get the discretionary funding with data and facts.

data

↓

Well, then this is pointless.

↓

I've spent my whole life avoiding those two things.

life spent whole

↓

Look, what if we just write down exactly what she needs to say,

needs write

↓

and then she can just read it?

read

↓

I wish I could just read something,

read wish

↓

but this superintendent is out to get me.

superintendent

↓

He's gonna be throwing curves like that lady gym.

lady

↓

Okay. Then we have to keep trying.

↓

This is our only option.

↓

Unless you want to catch Superintendent Collins

catch superintendent

↓

cheating again.

cheating

↓

Yes! Let's focus on that.

focus yes

↓

That's got to be easier.

↓

Maybe the best thing for the school in the long run

best school

↓

is for her to fail and they get a new principal.

fail principal

↓

Not necessarily me. Just a new one.

↓

Who...is like me.

↓

And that is one of the many ways that My Octopus Teacher

teacher ways

↓

made me, well, believe in love again.

believe love

↓

Is everything okay?

↓

The only time I saw you two sit apart

↓

is when Melissa said you should put sugar on grits.

melissa

↓

There's nothing to talk about.

↓

Yeah, 'cause it's very straightforward.

↓

We're under attack, and she's got her head buried in the sand.

head

↓

Better the sand than the mud.

↓

Okay. You refusing to cooperate

↓

doesn't stop bad things from happening.

bad

↓

We should be using people doing bad stuff

bad stuff using

↓

to do good stuff for our kids.

kids stuff

↓

Mm. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil

evil

↓

is for good men to do nothing."

↓

You know, usually when you quote stuff, it's annoying

annoying stuff usually

↓

and I want you to shut up, but in this case, very relevant.

case

↓

Oh, thank you. I have another.

another

↓

-No, you don't. -No, I don't.

↓

What are y'all doing here?

yall

↓

You didn't think we would give up that easy, did you?

easy

↓

That's exactly what I thought.

↓

I'm genuinely surprised to see you.

↓

Okay. So, you know how your presentation

↓

used those robotablets?

used

↓

My assistants, yes.

yes

↓

Well, what if we were your assistants?

↓

That way, we can handle all the data and graphs,

data handle

↓

and you can handle the showmanship.

handle

↓

I love it!

love

↓

This is like a group project at school

project school

↓

where I bring the energy, and you guys bring

bring

↓

whatever doesn't require a personality.

↓

This is a good idea.

idea

↓

(sighs)

sighs

↓

(siren wails in distance)

distance

↓

(digging in soil)

↓

Okay. I know you said that you're okay,

↓

but I can tell that you're not by the way that you're gardening.

gardening

↓

I don't know what you're talking about.

↓

Oh!

↓

Oh, J-J-Jacob, I'm sorry.

jacob

↓

I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine, really.

↓

-Oh, I'm sorry. -No, I'm good.

↓

Oh.

↓

Tsk. Oh.

↓

I know we need the money.

money

↓

And I have applied for that Advancement Grant

applied

↓

for 10 years now.

years

↓

I just don't want to compromise my morals to get it.

↓

Look, while I admire that you've applied 10 years in a row,

applied years

↓

have you heard that saying

heard

↓

about the definition of insanity?

↓

Have you ever heard the saying

heard

↓

that I will pop you upside your head

head

↓

if you imply that I am insane?

↓

-I'm just saying... -(grumbles)

↓

...you did something you wouldn't normally do

normally

↓

by starting this garden with me.

garden starting

↓

That didn't turn out so bad, huh?

bad

↓

(indistinct conversations in distance)

conversations distance indistinct indistinct-conversations

↓

-Hey. -Thought I was early.

early

↓

You are. I'm just earlier. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Ava here yet?

↓

She's probably somewhere doing power poses.

power

↓

Actually, it's been a minute.

minute

↓

Let me check and make sure she hasn't bolted.

check

↓

Mm-hmm.

↓

Gregory Eddie, right?

eddie gregory

↓

Yeah.

↓

It's good to see you again.

↓

You know, I'm sorry I couldn't hire you as principal, but...

principal

↓

my hands were tied.

hands

↓

-To the bed? -Pardon?

↓

Nothing.

↓

Look, if you're still interested in being principal,

principal

↓

I think maybe some positions might be opening up,

might opening

↓

even at Abbott.

abbott

↓

So...

↓

if you're interested...

↓

e-mail me.

mail

↓

-Hey. -Hey.

↓

Look, there's Delisha Sloss -- if anybody cares.

anybody cares

↓

Excuse me.

excuse

↓

BARBARA: (sighs)

barbara sighs

↓

Okay. So, after Gregory talks math competency,

gregory math

↓

I'll handle the attendance graph,

handle

↓

and then I'll kick it to you for testing numbers.

↓

So, I'm the grand finale. But what if they want an encore?

↓

That's okay. We'll handle all surprises,

handle

↓

and all you have to do is take care of the lobs.

care

↓

Oh, perfect! I'll go into a power pose.

perfect power

↓

And remember, you don't wanna show too much improvement

remember

↓

because then they think we won't need the money.

money

↓

But then, also, you don't want to show

↓

that we haven't gotten any better,

gotten

↓

because then they think we're not capable of improvement.

capable

↓

Wow. And this is the job you really want?

↓

-Sounds gross. -Yeah.

sounds

↓

Ah, Principal Coleman.

coleman principal

↓

Superintendent Collins.

superintendent

↓

I'm really looking forward to showing you our presentation.

forward looking

↓

W-What do you mean "our"?

↓

I've enlisted two of Abbott's best teachers

best teachers

↓

to help me with the presentation --

↓

our shortest and our finest.

↓

(chuckles) No, you're not slick.

chuckles

↓

You'll be giving today's presentation alone.

alone giving

↓

(whispers indistinctly)

indistinctly

↓

Uh, oh, my God. What did he just say to you?

↓

That if you don't do well, you're gonna get fired?

fired

↓

Worse.

worse

↓

He mumbled and I didn't hear it.

↓

(toilet flushes)

toilet

↓

(door unlocks)

door

↓

(sighs)

sighs

↓

(clears throat)

clears clears-throat throat

↓

-Oh. -Oh.

↓

Mrs. Sloss.

↓

I'm a teacher at Abbott Elementary.

abbott abbott-elementary elementary teacher

↓

I believe we go to the same church.

believe

↓

Oh, how lovely.

↓

I think I've seen you around.

seen

↓

Of course you've seen Deacon Wiley's new hairstyle.

course seen

↓

Oh, he's got it dyed, fried, and laid to the side.

↓

(chuckles) Yes, it's funny when people look bad.

bad chuckles funny yes

↓

Um, uh...

↓

Sister Sloss, God is good, is he not?

sister

↓

-He is. -And He knows in our hearts

knows

↓

whether we are good people or not.

↓

I imagine he does. You have a good day, now.

↓

Well, while I have your attention,

attention

↓

you are on the Church Finance Committee, aren't you?

↓

AVA: Our test scores have been good.

↓

But not too good. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

And definitely not bad.

bad

↓

Uh, the same goes for our attendance rates.

↓

They have been exactly where they should be

↓

to inspire confidence while also leaving room for improvement.

room

↓

Any questions?

questions

↓

Never mind. There's no time for questions.

mind questions

↓

I still have, uh, 13 more slides.

↓

I can't really hear anything.

↓

Okay, get away from the door. Let me try.

door

↓

Yeah, I can't hear anything, either.

↓

Who's got the biggest ears?

↓

I -- I'm-a just...

↓

I'll get a glass.

↓

When I'm overwhelmed, I get on my phone, too.

phone

↓

I like to read the news.

news read

↓

You know, seeing something way worse

seeing worse

↓

than what's happening to me really puts things in perspective.

↓

Yeah, I was just sending an e-mail, but...

mail

↓

I can do that later.

↓

By the way, thank you so much for helping.

↓

I know it isn't easy to coach someone

coach easy

↓

who has the job you should've gotten.

gotten

↓

Yeah, well, it's a lot easier to say yes to things

yes

↓

when you're the one asking.

asking

↓

Oh. Well, in that case,

case

↓

can I get a burger and a Nintendo Switch?

↓

(both laugh)

laugh

↓

(sighs)

sighs

↓

How do you think it's going in there?

↓

Oh, I think it's probably going well.

↓

I think it's going w--

↓

I think it's probably going well.

↓

GREGORY: Hmm.

gregory

↓

And that brings me to my last chart...

↓

What are we looking at here?

looking

↓

Well, there's no words on it, but...it's going up!

words

↓

(chuckles) That can't be too bad.

bad chuckles

↓

Or too good! (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Based on what you've shown us so far,

↓

what metrics are your funding targets keyed to?

↓

Thank God you brought that up.

brought

↓

I was like, "I hope he asks about Target and whatnot,"

hope

↓

-'cause I have another slide -- -You know what?

another

↓

I thi-- I think we've seen all we need to see here today.

seen today

↓

Thanks for coming in.

coming thanks

↓

-But I -- I -- -Look, that's your time,

↓

not even including the five minutes you took

five five-minutes minutes

↓

when you got a paper cut.

paper

↓

Look, I know you all want me to talk

↓

about pie charts and cake graphs,

↓

but that's not the entire story.

entire story

↓

Yeah, discretionary funds can be used to nurture students

students used

↓

artistically so they can grow up and do that graffiti

grow

↓

that bougie people don't get mad at.

↓

You mean a mural?

↓

That's it.

↓

But what you don't see is how I make sure

↓

that forgetful students get supplies.

students supplies

↓

Or how I help students with broke parents

broke parents students

↓

get uniforms that fit so they don't get roasted all day.

↓

Or how I have barrels of lotion stashed all around the school

school

↓

so these kids don't start a commotion with their crusty ankles.

kids start

↓

My unique approach to these funds betters the school.

school

↓

Yes, we all understand the importance of moisturization,

yes

↓

but your time is up.

↓

-(gasps) -AVA: No.

gasps

↓

Y'all not about to rush me out of here

yall

↓

like I'm Lil Mama at the VMAs.

mama

↓

Psst! Hey. It's open.

open

↓

AVA: Because you know what?

↓

No matter what happens to me, Abbott will be fine.

abbott matter

↓

Because the teachers that work there

teachers

↓

are some of the most dedicated, hardworking,

↓

and creative teachers in this entire city.

city creative entire teachers

↓

You tell 'em, Ava!

↓

(door slams)

door

↓

And it's not like y'all been making it rain up in here.

rain yall

↓

We've been taking appetizer money

money

↓

and giving these kids a charcuterie experience.

experience giving kids

↓

Don't give us the money because we need it.

money

↓

Give it to us because everyone at Abbott deserves it.

abbott

↓

-Hmm. -Hmm.

↓

DENZEL: Well, thank you, Principal Coleman.

coleman principal

↓

Uh, that was a very... passionate plea.

↓

(door opens)

door door-opens opens

↓

(indistinct conversations in distance)

conversations distance indistinct indistinct-conversations

↓

Well?

↓

Okay, sis!

↓

-I did that! -And that's on what?

↓

-Period! -(laughing)

laughing

↓

Okay, what's happening?

↓

I mean, (clears throat) good job, Ava.

clears clears-throat throat

↓

Thank you, subordinate.

↓

So, our girl really did a good job, huh?

girl

↓

Surprisingly, yes.

yes

↓

Ooh! So we get the funding we need?

↓

No, of course not.

course

↓

As long as Ava's at Abbott and I'm the superintendent,

abbott avas superintendent

↓

you never will.

↓

She blackmailed me.

↓

It's kind of hard to get over being blackmailed.

hard

↓

You know, he's not wrong.

↓

I haven't spoken to my blackmailer in two years.

years

↓

Do I miss my sister? Yeah, every day.

miss sister

↓

Look, if it wasn't your school suffering, it'd just be another.

another school

↓

Don't be mad at me, be mad at the system.

system

↓

I am mad. I'm really mad.

↓

I'm glad I caught you before you left.

caught glad left

↓

I talked to my office, and I have good news.

news office talked

↓

-Oh, really? -Mm.

↓

Regarding?

↓

Regarding the fact that Abbott will be a recipient

abbott fact

↓

of the Advancement Grant this year.

↓

(gasps) What a surprise.

gasps surprise

↓

After 10 years of impeccable applications,

years

↓

we suddenly find ourselves worthy.

↓

How wonderful.

↓

Yes, it is...wonderful.

yes

↓

Ah. See you in church on Sunday.

↓

And every Sunday after that.

↓

Hmm.

↓

Barbara, this is great!

barbara

↓

JACOB: What are we gonna use the grant for?

jacob

↓

I mean, which programs go? Which ones stay?

ones

↓

This could get very stressful.

↓

Okay, you need to stop thinking about this,

thinking

↓

because you're gonna break out in hives.

break

↓

Because this is a decision for our principal.

principal

↓

Stop looking at me like that.

looking

↓

If anybody hugs me, I'm turning down the grant.

anybody

↓

Did you...

↓

Did you shake someone down for me?

↓

I shook someone down for us, ya big gabootz.

↓

Guboonza? Garbanzo.

↓

Yeah, that's a bean, but thank you for trying.

↓

(laughs)

laughs

↓

Sometimes you try something new

sometimes

↓

for the people you care about.

care

↓

The Lord helps those who help themselves.

lord

↓

And he punishes those who have been helping themselves

↓

to the church's petty cash.

↓

Mnh-mnh-mnh.

↓

I saw your little e-mail.

mail

↓

I know. That's why I'm sitting here.

sitting

↓

Are you sure you wanna do this?

↓

This job requires you to be cool and level-headed,

cool level

↓

and you ain't exactly known for keeping your composure.

aint

↓

I'm sure.

↓

This job means more responsibility.

responsibility

↓

Commitment. Emotional availability.

↓

I understand.

↓

Well, welcome to teaching full-time at Abbott, Mr. Eddie.

abbott eddie full teaching welcome

↓

Thank you.

↓

What I'm looking forward to the most

forward looking

↓

is having access to the H.R. department.

having

↓

What's H.R.?

↓

-- Captioned by VITAC --

captioned vitac