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Home » Idiocracy » S01E01 — Idiocracy

Idiocracy

Season 1, Episode 1 — Idiocracy

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[ Man Narrating ] As the 21st century began,
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human evolution was at a turning point.
point
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Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest,
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the fastest reproduced in greater numbers than the rest,
rest
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a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man,
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now began to favor different traits.
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[ Reporter ] The Joey Buttafuoco case--
case
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Most science fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized...
futurescience
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and more intelligent.
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But as time went on, things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction.
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A dumbing down.
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How did this happen?
happen
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Evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence.
intelligence
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With no natural predators to thin the herd,
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it began to simply reward those who reproduced the most...
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and left the intelligent to become an endangered species.
becomeleft
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Having kids is such an important decision.
havingkids
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We're just waiting for the right time.
waiting
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It's not something you want to rush into, obviously.
obviously
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No way.
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Oh, shit, I'm pregnant again!
pregnant
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Shit! I got too many damn kids!
kids
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- I thought you was on the pill or some shit! - Hell, no!
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Shit! I must've been thinkin' of Brittany.
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Brittany? No, you didn't!
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There's no way we could have a child now. Mm-mm.
child
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Not with the market the way it is, no.
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God, no. That just wouldn't make any sense.
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Come on over here, bitch! He don't care about you!
care
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Yeah? Well, there must be somethin' he likes over here.
likesmust
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- She don't mean nothin' to me, baby! - Clevon!
babynothin
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Oh, shit. It wasn't me! It wasn't me!
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Well, we finally decided to have children,
childrendecidedfinally
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and I'm not pointing fingers, but it's not going well.
fingers
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And this is helping.
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I'm just saying that before I have in vitro, maybe you should be willing to--
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It's always me, right?
always-me
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Well, it's not my sperm count.
count
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Yeah! Yeah! I'm gonna fuck all y'all!
yall
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That's my boy!
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Whoo! Whoo!
whoo
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Clevon is lucky to be alive.
alive
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He attempted to jump a Jet Ski from a lake...
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into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
iron
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But thanks to recent advances in stem cell research...
thanks
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and the fine work of Doctors Krinski and Altschuler,
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Clevon should regain full reproductive function.
full
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Get your hands off my junk!
hands