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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 1, Episode 1 — The Gang Gets Racist

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- Let's go back to normal. - You're done experimenting then?
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- Or are you gonna experiment more? - What is this experimenting?
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- Hey, Dennis! What's up? - Listen, I got you some new CDs.
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'Cause the music you had in the jukebox was a little bit stale.
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Also, first thing we gotta do is get rid of these shamrocks.
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'Cause nothing scares gays and black folks like Irish crap.
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Can we talk for a second, though, in private?
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Yeah. No problem.
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So, listen, Terrell, it's not really working out.
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We're gonna have to let you go.
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I don't understand. I thought you guys were happy.
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No, we were happy. But then Dennis had an experiment,
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and he wants to go back to normal.
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Yeah, we had that little experiment...
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- Why you keep saying it like that? - You guys are being ridiculous.
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Yeah, we're being ridiculous! We're making a lot of money here!
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- Yes! Thank you! - Look, everybody! Sweet Dee's here!
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- Hey, everybody! - Whoa! What are you doing here?
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- Charlie? - What is going on here?
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- You guys know each other? - Yeah! That's the crazy bitch
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that punched me in my eye! - Charlie! That's my sister.
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Now, just to clarify.
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- When you say "sister", you mean... - I mean my sister.
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Yes! Okay! This is great! Because earlier
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you were implying that I was racist because you thought
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that I was implying that all black people are related.
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And then it turns out that you people actually are!
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No, that's not what I meant. Hold on a second.
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- I meant that you two actually are. - Mac?
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Stop talkin'.
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$111, $112, $113, $114!
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On a Saturday night!
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- We're back to normal. - We are back to normal. Mmm.
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Dee, I gotta know. What exactly did you tell those guys
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from your acting class to do to Dennis?
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Oh, yeah, I know, I forgot to tell you. That didn't work out.
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- What? - I couldn't get a hold of them.
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Then why was he so freaked out?
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How's that ass feelin'?