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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S07E01 — Frank's Pretty Woman

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 7, Episode 1 — Frank's Pretty Woman

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Roxy, this is not Tiger Woods.
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- What are you talking about? - I think this guy's an actor.
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He definitely pretended to be Donovan McNabb one time
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when I tried out for the Eagles.
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Donovan McNabb? Eagles?
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I don't know what she's talking about. I play golf.
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Okay, Roxy, see, this is exactly why you gotta stop doing this shit.
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And, sir, seriously?
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Okay, all right. All right, I'm sorry.
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You got me, all right? I'm busted.
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I am an actor. My name is Don Cheadle.
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No, you're not Don... What are you doing? What's going on?
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I don't care who he is if he pays me 500 bucks to rub my feet.
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- Did you say 500 bucks? - Mmm-hmm.
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- To rub your feet? - Mmm-hmm.
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- You don't have sex with him? - Mm-mm-mmm.
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I'm into foot shit.
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Interesting.
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What shoe size are you, by the way?
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Hey! Your feet are bizarrely huge.
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Man will go crazy for that.
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I don't care for how you describe them, but what are we talking here?
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- What kind of money are we talking? - Uh, well, I don't know.
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Maybe we could pop those boots off and kick it around a bit.
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Well, it never hurts to talk, does it?
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Just do it.
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That's... He's cute.
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- Oh, God. - Chimichanga, chimichanga...
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- Mac... - Chimichanga, chimichanga, chimichanga.
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- Chimichangas are delicious. - I told you, dude.
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- So good. Oh! - I told you.
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Why would you not want to eat one of these every day of your life?
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- Oh, my God. - I mean, they're delicious.
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They're full of carbs, which is great for a pump,
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- and they're cheap as shit. - Oh.
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- Hence the garbage bags filled with them. - Exactly. No restrictions.
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- No restrictions, dude. - No restrictions.
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Oh, I love this no-restrictions thing, man.
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In that vein, I want you to take a look at that chimichanga.
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I want you to say to yourself, "Chimichanga, you are delicious,
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- "but what do I really want?" - Do I really want?
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What do you want more than anything else in the entire world?
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What do I want more than anything else in this entire world?
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Yes.
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- Crack. - Oh.
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I thought you were gonna say pizza or...
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- Yeah. No, no, no. - Buffalo wings or something.
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- You want crack? - Yeah, crack cocaine.