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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S01E01 — The Gang Gets Racist

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 1, Episode 1 — The Gang Gets Racist

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- Oh, I want one so bad. - All righty!
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Oh, a coffee shop. I thought you meant, like, a drink at a bar.
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Yeah, absolutely. Uh, here, why don't you have a seat here.
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I'll go up and get the coffee. What would you like?
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- I don't really drink coffee. - Totally.
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What do you want, Charlie?
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"What do you want, Charlie?" Um, well,
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I'd like you to take a look at the young African-American woman
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sitting at the table over there.
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- Okay. - That woman is my friend.
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Wow. Good for you.
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So, the other day when you heard me saying something about
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certain people hanging from rafters, I was quoting a friend of mine...
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What are you trying to say? Spit it out.
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Well, maybe now that you know that I'm not racist,
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you and I could go on a little... - Dude, N-O.
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How many times do I have to say it to you?
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- One time is fine. - Apparently one time is not fine.
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- One time per time I ask you. - Hey, what's going on up here?
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Oh, not too much. Charlie's using you to prove that he's not racist
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and then he asked me out on a date.
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Charlie, is this true?
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Would that upset you if it was something that was true?
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(disco music playing)
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Charlie, I think you need to see a doctor. This thing looks really bad.
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- I did! - What'd he say?
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He said that Janell punched me in my eye!
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All right, well, you need to keep that eye...
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- Wait. Her name's Janell? - Yeah.
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Janell Jenkins. She's got a hell of a right hand.
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She also said that if she ever saw me again,
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she was going to slit my throat. - Are you two seeing this?
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Boys are out tonight, huh?
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This is unbelievable. What the hell is going on here?
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You got black women crawling all over you
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and this Mary over here is the belle of the ball.
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Why do these people like you guys so much?
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Well, dude, it's not that they like us.
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It's that they don't like you. You know why?
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Uh, because you're an asshole!
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- Is that true? - Yeah, kind of.
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Hey, listen, can I talk to you in the back for a second?
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- What's up? - You know that girl
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Charlie's talking about? That Janell? I know her.
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- Okay. So what? - I think I know how we can solve
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this whole gay mess.
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- Great. How? - First we gotta start with Dennis.
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Can you get him so drunk tonight? On tequila.