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Home » Abbott Elementary » S01E01 — Pilot

Abbott Elementary

Season 1, Episode 1 — Pilot

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Abbott Elementary
Episode title: Pilot
Air date: December 07, 2021
Director: Randall Einhorn
Top billed cast: Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Janelle James
When the staff relates their needs, Principal Ava presents alternative options.
Source: TMDB
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It's nice to see another male teacher in here.
anotherteacher
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-Hmm! -There's not a lot of us.
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Hey, now I got somebody to talk sports with.
somebody
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You like women's tennis?
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Or, as I call it, you know, regular tennis.
regular
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I'm subbing here because I need a job
subbing
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until I can become principal.
becomeprincipal
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It's what I studied for.
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I actually interviewed here and got it, but then --
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I don't know -- something happened.
happened
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I go to the same church as the Superintendent.
superintendent
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Caught him cheating on his wife with the deaconess.
caughtcheatingwife
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I needed a job.
needed
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"Is your school sick? Try prescription rugs." Classic.
classicrugsschoolsick
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CHILD: (cough, splatter)
child
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-CHILDREN: Ewwww! -Oh, my God!
children
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-Bria, what happened? -I threw up.
briahappenedthrew
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Great communication skills, Bria.
briaskills
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Okay, let's get you cleaned up.
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I actually throw up all the time, so it's okay.
throw
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-Argh! -(screams)
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Random man! Child pants!
childpants
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-Security! -Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no!
security
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I'm -- I'm Gregory, the, uh -- the sub for Ms. Schwartz.
gregoryschwartz
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-Okay. Oh. -Yeah.
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But that's still not explaining the pants.
pants
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-Security! -Hold on. Hold on.
security
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-Wait, wait, wait. -Okay, one of my kids
kids
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had to go to the bathroom, so I brought him,
brought
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but then he accidentally went on himself.
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Oh! Okay.
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And I tried to flush the toilet,
flushtoilettried
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and the water shot back up in the air.
water
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-And then I'm -- -Oh, God.
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No one told you about Reversy Toilet then?
toilet
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-Okay. -No. Why is that even a thing?
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I know. I'm sorry. Okay.
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Um, could you just watch her for a second?
secondwatch
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Um... Hi.
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-How you doing? -I threw up.
threw
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All right.
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Okay. I'll be back for her, and I have some spare clothes
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for him in my room.
room
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I will get him changed
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and then send him back to you, all right?
send
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Oh, w-wait. What was your name?
name
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Oh. Silly me.
silly
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I'm Janine. So, nice to meet you.
janinemeet