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Home » Idiocracy » S01E01 — Idiocracy

Idiocracy

Season 1, Episode 1 — Idiocracy

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I've been thinking. It's been 500 years.
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Someone has to have invented a way to travel back in time by now.
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You know, I think they were pretty close even in my day. You know?
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With Einstein and guys like that? Uh-huh.
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- You know, scientists? You know? - Uh.
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A time machine, for time travel.
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Do they have one? What?
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[ Tires Squealing, Car Crashing In Distance ]
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Jesus. I knew that was too much to hope for.
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No, no, they got a time machine.
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They do? Yeah.
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Are-Are-Are you sure? Yeah.
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- Can it get me back to 2005? - Oh, yeah, but it's, like, really expensive.
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And it breaks all the time 'cause some smart guy made it a long time ago.
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I don't care. Just get me there, okay?
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Well-- Please!
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Listen, I-- I-- I "supersize" with you,
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but didn't you go to jail for not havin' enough money?
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Okay, how about this? You get me to the time machine, and when I get back...
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I open a savings account in your name.
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That way, 500 years later, it'll be worth billions.
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Billions! 'Cause?
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'Cause of the interest, it'll be worth billions of dollars.
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- Oh, I-- I like money. - Yeah.
money
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- How many billions? - Like, 10.
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Yeah, suck one. Time machine costs, like, 20.
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Yeah? Okay. Uh, 30, Frito.
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Thirty billion dollars.
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Thirty billion. So if you gave me 30 billion,
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and the time machine's 20--
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What's the minus of 30 and 20?
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Uh, it's, uh-- it's 80, Frito.
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It's $80 billion. That's a mighty big minus, isn't it?
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- Yeah. I like money though. - [ Man ] Police! Open the door!
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- [ Banging On Door ] - We're looking for an "excaped" individual.
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- This particular individual's name is Not Sure. - Eighty billion.
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Oh, um, he-- He's... somewhere else.
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- You got something I can wear? - Yeah. There's Pro-Wear on the top, assorted in the middle.
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[ Policeman ] A Coke machine in the vicinity caught his tattoo.
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Seemed to be heading for this particular "domistile."
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[ Banging ] Okay, sir, we're comin' in.
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- No, you can't come in. - Can too!
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Come on! All right, let's go get my billions.
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[ Banging Continues ]
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Oh, okay, one more thing. We gotta go find this girl, Rita, first, okay?
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Is she bangin'? Yeah, sure, she is.
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That wasn't really part of the deal.
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Okay, I'll, uh, throw in another couple billion, all right? I like money.
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