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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S07E01 — Frank's Pretty Woman

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 7, Episode 1 — Frank's Pretty Woman

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- You're not helping my argument. - Okay, yeah. And if you're gonna chime in,
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please don't do it with a mouthful of burrito.
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- This is a chimichanga. - You are becoming a chimichanga!
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All right, all of you,
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I'm gonna give you all 24 hours to do whatever you have to do,
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but tomorrow night I am proposing to that dirty whore.
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This is gonna be a little bit harder than we thought.
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- This woman is a real piece of shit. - Uh-huh.
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Where's Frank?
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Don't worry about Frank, Roxy.
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Uh, we're here to help you turn your life around.
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See, a lot of times, the second act of someone's life
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- can be much better than the first. - Mmm-hmm.
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Well, yeah, we just want to make some changes in your life, Roxy.
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- Perhaps get you some new clothes. - Uh-huh.
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Uh, hopefully, teach you some manners.
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Shut up, baby dick.
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- All right. Well, I'm out of here. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
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- No, I... - Don't go. Don't go.
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- We haven't even started yet. Come on. - Come on. Frank was right.
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This woman cannot change. People don't just change.
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People change. She can change. I'm gonna change.
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What? You're gonna change? What the hell are you talking about?
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Well, I'm gearing up to get into my second act, you know?
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That's very exciting for me, and I'd like to help Roxy
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- do the same thing, that's all. - No. No, no, Dee...
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- Aw, really? - What?
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- No, you're already in your second act. - Me?
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Yeah. We're all in our second acts. Don't you see that?
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And I, for one, I don't want things to change.
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I want them to stay the way they were, because my first act was awesome.
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See, your first act was shit,
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and that's why you're so desperate for things to be different.
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But they rarely ever do get different.
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If anything, God, they get worse. I mean, look at Mac.
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- I got salsa on my shirt. - He got salsa on his shirt.
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Okay. Here's how things need to go from here on out.
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You gotta deal with this woman, because I can't handle it. All right?
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She made things personal, and I won't stand for that.
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Somebody needs to take care of Mac, and that's gonna be me,
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because his fatness is starting to affect our entire crew.
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- Mmm-hmm. - So I'm gonna take him with me,
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because the man is carrying around trash bags filled with Mexican foods.
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What's that smell?
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Crack.
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- That is crack rock. - Mmm-hmm.
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- She's smoking crack. - Oh, she's smoking crack.
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Okay, she's smoking crack.