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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S07E01 — Frank's Pretty Woman

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 7, Episode 1 — Frank's Pretty Woman

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This is no longer a safe environment for me.
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- Mmm-hmm. - Mac, let's go. Come on.
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I gotta get out of here. Whew.
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I got a really good thing going with Roxy. She's a sweet bitch.
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Yeah, but she's mean.
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Dude, she's definitely only into you for the money.
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Well, so? Barbara was only into me for the money.
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Yeah, but you deserve better than that, man.
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Look, I'm already on it, okay?
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I signed you up on a dating website. I got you a date, dude.
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- Yeah? - Check it out though.
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I got a little twist on this date.
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This girl does think she's meeting a millionaire.
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Why'd you say that, Charlie? That... Defeats the purpose.
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Well... I'm gonna be the millionaire.
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- Oh. Explain. - All right, check it out.
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You're gonna play my limo driver, right?
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You're just like a regular working stiff to this girl.
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She doesn't think you're a millionaire. Okay?
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Then we're out on the date and I'm like,
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"Oh, I don't... I don't feel very well. I gotta go home.
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"But let's not waste this date.
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"Why don't you finish the date with my limo driver?"
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- You know what I mean? - Smart, Charlie.
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I mean, yeah, she's not gonna be able to resist an opportunity like that.
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- A night with a limo driver? - This is a good idea.
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- Right? - I wanna give it a whirl.
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- All right, man. - All right, Charlie.
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Oh, here. I think these are done.
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- That first one's done? All right. - Yeah, this batch is done.
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Just get 'em out. Get 'em out. Whoo, baby!
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Whoa! I burned myself on a rivet.
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Yeah.
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Mac, these blood tests are gonna show you
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the damage that you've been doing to your body,
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and my hope is that it will incentivize you
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to finally lose some of this disgusting weight you've put on.
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This is ridiculous, dude, okay?
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We're getting older. We're not gonna look 20 forever.
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No, I am gonna look 20 forever, Mac,
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because the older I get, the more vigilant I become.
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All right, I don't eat lunch anymore, for instance.
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Yeah, and on odd days, I don't eat breakfast.
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- That sounds miserable. - No, dude, it's not miserable.
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Well, yeah, it is a little bit miserable, but it has to be, man.
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No pain, no gain. I am also constantly in motion.
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Like, right now, dude, I am doing leg lifts that are
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imperceptible to the human eye.