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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 1, Episode 1 — The Gang Gets Racist

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I'm gonna put these out on the tables.
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Rule number one. Always keep a line.
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Oh, my God! That is a lot of people! Wow!
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(disco music playing)
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This is crazy!
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I know! I told you! Terrell's the best!
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I know! I'm gonna have to start bartending full-time. Look at this!
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Why are you making more money than me?
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- I don't know! - Hey, this is crazy!
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I know. Terrell packed 'em in. Look at this.
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- This is crazy! - Yeah, we were just saying that.
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- Lot of dudes. - Yeah, there's a lot of dudes.
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Lot of dudes.
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What can I get you boys?
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Oh, uh, we wanted to wait for the cute one.
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What cute one?
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Mac, isn't that your cousin Brett by the jukebox?
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- Oh, yeah! - Let's go say hey.
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- Yo, Brettie boy! - Hey, cuz!
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- How you doin'? - What's up, Brett?
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- Can you believe this crowd? - Oh, it's something else!
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Yeah!
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Gentlemen, I understand my services have been requested.
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I actually got a couple of services I'd like to request.
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Whoa! Uh, what are you doin, man? I'm not...
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- You have the most beautiful eyes. - Okay, man, but I'm... Really?
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So blue.
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Really more of a blue-green, actually, but...
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- I'm really proud of you, man. - Yeah, thanks.
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- You've come a long way. - What do you mean?
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You guys are running the hottest gay bar in Philadelphia.
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(disco music continues)
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(knock on door)
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(grunting)
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No! What in the hell is your problem?
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How could you not tell me you were gay?
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I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia.
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I didn't think it was that big a secret.
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I've been coming on to you for, like, weeks now.
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- I thought you were into gay dudes. - I am not into gay dudes!
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- Apparently you are. - Okay, well, you know what?
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The guys hired you to promote their bar,
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and you turned it into a gay bar. They are not happy.
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(laughing)
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- So much money! - Whoo!
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Oh! So much money! We made more money in one night...
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Than in the entire time that we've owned this place!
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This is great. We have to embrace the situation.