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Home » Abbott Elementary » S01E01 — Pilot

Abbott Elementary

Season 1, Episode 1 — Pilot

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Abbott Elementary
Episode title: Pilot
Air date: December 07, 2021
Director: Randall Einhorn
Top billed cast: Quinta Brunson, Tyler James Williams, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Janelle James
When the staff relates their needs, Principal Ava presents alternative options.
Source: TMDB
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I got a guy for everything.
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I know a guy right now working the stadium build.
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-Need rebar? -No.
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Melissa is resourceful, capable.
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Well, I think the younger teachers are capable.
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Really? Then why is it
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that Ms. Schwartz's hair is falling out?
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Why does Jacob here need a smoking break
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every five minutes?
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I switched to an herbal vape.
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And why can't any of you stick it out
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longer than two years?
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More turnovers than a bakery.
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(door opens)
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Ouch. (chuckles)
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(door closes)
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You know what? Hell, I think we should still try for rugs.
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Yeah.
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You know, before I taught here, I was in Zimbabwe.
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I was doing Teachers Without Borders,
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-and what I learned -- -Jacob,
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what did I say about, like, not talking
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about your time in Africa?
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-You -- You told me to -- -I told you to stop.
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Yeah, it's weird.
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The new-teacher track record here isn't great,
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but, ultimately, we are passionate
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and capable of doing this job.
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Janine, Ms. Schwartz just kicked Rajon,
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and everyone's in the hallway going crazy.
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Wait. What?
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(indistinct shouting)
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All right, all right. Calm down.
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-Calm down. -What happened?
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-He hit me first! -Liar!
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I'm a liar?! I'm the liar?!
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Okay, aspetta. Calm it down.
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I wonder if she tried counting. (chuckles)
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JACOB: All right, let's get you to the nurse.
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You do not hit a kid.
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It's like the one thing you don't do.
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-You could threaten them. -You can yell at them.
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Threaten the parents.
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Mildly embarrass them.
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I threatened a grandfather once.
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You just don't kick a kid.
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There was the bet. You didn't do --
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-Okay. -Oh.