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🎲 Surprise Me

All Images (14082)

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[ Man ] The Masturbation Network.
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So...you want to do long distance?
distance
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HEY, TURN THE CAMERAS BACK ON!
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You know, 'cause I can't go back in time and open a savings account.
accountopen
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Newsman: CHARLOTTE? CHARLOTTE?
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Uh, why are you late? Is everything okay?
late
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a process which had once favored the noblest traits of man,
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Did I miss the step and repeat?
missrepeatstep
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OKAY.
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You just did. (chuckles)
chuckles
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-my other earring? -No. Definitely not.
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Okay. That's it. You know what? I'm taking everybody's money.
everybodymoney
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I actually am going to get to it,
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-Woody? -Ha! We're gonna get outta here, Buzz.
buzzouttawoody
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YEAH, I THINK SOMEONE SENT YOU A CHRISTMAS-GRAM.
christmassent
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♪♪
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WHOO! THAT WAS EASY.
easywhoo
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It's not my fault! I was born this way.
fault
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Yeah, okay.
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TO WHAT DO I OWE THE, UH, PLEASURE?
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Oh, you look a m--
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Yeah, my job is on the line.
line
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(Maker's "Hold'em" playing)
holdemmakersplaying
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- Yeah! - Good, good. That's a good idea.
idea
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What did we do in college when the TAs gave us unfair grades?
collegegrades
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Why don't we just say we're playing for these chips
chipsplaying
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if that's a thing?
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Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry.
childhungrykids
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I didn't know that you'd lose your jobs and all your money,
jobslosemoney
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Come on, scrot. Don't be a pussy. It beats jail, don't it?
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- We're all unemployed! - You think that makes the "ecomony" suck?
makes
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Why are you reacting this way?
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AT LEAST YOU HAVE A DADDY.
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Let's string him up by his pull string!
pullstring
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she never complains. What is your secret, Barb?
barbsecret
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Natural selection, the process by which the strongest, the smartest,
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Especially the ones, uh, you know, out around the museum area.
areaones
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-Well, then, let's climb aboard. -No, no, no, wait, Buzz! Buzz!
buzzbuzz-buzzclimb
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what the kids and I have created.
kids
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Yeah. He was great.
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OH.
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YOU'RE JUST...SPECIAL.
special
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The claw chooses who will go and who will stay.
claw
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That's sexy, right?
sexy
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WELL, JUST TELL ME HOW THE PITCH WENT.
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I'M GOING TO SEND THEM TO MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES
mysterioussend
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eventually, you're gonna have to dump him.
dump
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But why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend this whole time?
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