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🎲 Surprise Me

All Images (14082)

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Normally, I do these standing up,
normally
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(muttering indistinctly)
indistinctly
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This is gonna be like when Lil Nas X performed at that school.
school
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She was the missing piece to our little puzzle of learning.
learningmissingpiece
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I made $300 last night. How much did you make?
night
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I don't want to wait for someone to get to it.
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It wasn't stuck at all, he was just faking it.
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Jacob helped me open the breaker.
jacobopen
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Dude, will you just drop it?
drop
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Fuck, yeah! Now gimme a beer.
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THE OLD COBBLER SLEEPS.
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And then they cheat on you with their thumb.
cheat
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I think it's going w--
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-Woody! What are you doing? -Hold still, Buzz!
buzzwoody
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this little film crew I brought in here?
broughtcrew
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that I made happen.
happen
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That sucks, how you had to come up,
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Okay. So, she should start by showing them
start
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We're not going to have you sullying those great memories
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Okay. Get ready to run.
ready
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Oh, I can't wait.
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(up-tempo music playing)
musicmusic-playingplaying
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See, that's the other thing me and Barbara learned.
barbaralearned
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and I overdrafted on a doughnut hole this morning.
holemorning
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(clicks tongue) -- leave it right at that door.
clicksclicks-tonguedoortongue
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A NEW DEVELOPMENT IN THE STORY, UH,
story
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Or how I help students with broke parents
brokeparentsstudents
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I've spent my whole life avoiding those two things.
lifespentwhole
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[ Announcer ] I can't hear you! Yeah.
announcer
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But now that I'm informed, I can handle it.
handle
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-Yeah. She's out. Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm.
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You are a toy!
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into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate.
iron
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AND SHOVE IT UP THE TUBE WITH THE SAME NUMBER.
number
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Sit! Good boy.
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I SUPPOSE PARENTS EAT THEM, TOO?
parents
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I feel like a better communicator.
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BUDDY THE ELF, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
buddyfavorite
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THERE'S A HORRIBLE NOISE
noise
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( screeches and wails )
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Do I even wanna know?
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-Aww. -That's crazy.
crazy
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It'll be fine. All right.
itll
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and then I ate the receipt,
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HEY! THERE'S NO SINGING IN THE NORTH POLE.
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♪ AND HE WANTS ME TO SING HIM A SONG ♪
songwants
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She was well-dressed, good with kids,
kids
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Where was the last place you left him?
leftplace