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🎲 Surprise Me

All Images (14082)

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WHERE'D YOU GET THIS PICTURE?
picturewhered
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"THERE'S ROOM FOR EVERYONE ON THE NICE LIST."
listroom
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about how this is done peacefully.
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I'm thinking what if I let you buy me dinner to go with it?
dinnerthinking
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-What? -Did I get my package in the mail?
mailpackage
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Oh, what's the turkey farmer's name?
farmername
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I brought my attack dog with the built-in force field.
broughtbuiltfield
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Yeah, you sound like a regular Major Payne.
regularsound
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It's a necessary evil.
evil
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EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.
building
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Yeah.
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AVA OVER P.A.: Principal A-A-Ava, son!
principal
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You're like, "There's no way a parakeet and crocodile
crocodile
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He definitely pretended to be Donovan McNabb one time
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I mean, yeah, she's not gonna be able to resist an opportunity like that.
able
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to be successful, you know, go to college, do great things.
collegesuccessful
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Oh. Well, in that case,
case
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-It's busted. -Who are you callin' busted, buster?
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Okay, I'm gonna get some water out of the fridge.
fridgewater
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OW!
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You've never mentioned him.
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-Like... -I know.
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[ Laughing ]
laughing
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But also maybe focus on the performance today.
focusperformancetoday
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Oh, J-J-Jacob, I'm sorry.
jacob
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I guess what I'm saying...
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Let us move on to "oldhead," one word.
oldheadword
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I mean, this is a perfectly good...
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- You're not gay, you're just vain. - Okay, time out.
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is when Melissa said you should put sugar on grits.
melissa
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I don't think this is what the school board is looking for.
boardlookingschool
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(clears throat)
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I HAVE NO TIME, SO, YOU KNOW,
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I'm Barbara Howard, woman of God.
barbarabarbara-howardhowardwoman
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YES, I AM.
yes
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Janine, sweetheart,
janinesweetheart
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I couldn't just sit there and watch that.
watch
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You know that man don't come out during the daytime.
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WORKED IN A SHINY MAILROOM,
worked
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"THE SHOW," OR--OR "THE BIG DANCE,"
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[ Groans ]
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I--I DIDN'T PUT... IT'S SPAGHETTI.
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And I don't like this shift
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AND I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. I'M NOT GONNA CHARGE YOU.
charge
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Really? Then why is it
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My auntie's dog needs her sweater back.
needssweater
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Now you have zero potatoes.
potatoes
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Not now, Mom! I'm busy!
busy